Beauty for Ashes in a painful season.

I was able to find my voice, after many years of suffering in silence. While I knew the abuse wasn’t my fault yet somehow, I blamed myself. I hid behind the scares of my past, afraid of ever letting anyone in for fear of them finding out what had happened to me. Trauma left me with invisible scares unnoticeable to the naked eye, but visible to the soul. The pain of trauma can be crippling, rendering you unable to move, feel, speak, or function. It can rob you of life and your dreams. Because of my trauma I can remember feeling so helpless, unloved, and unworthy. It wasn’t until I met a man named Jesus, he would be the one to heal the whole in my soul, he would be the one to love me unconditionally, he would be the one to remind me that no matter what happened to me, that I was worthy and worth dying for.

Falling in love with Jesus was the best decision I ever made, it was through my relationship with him that I realized, that I did not have to allow the pain of my past to ruin my future. Did, knowing Jesus as my personal lord and savior change everything instantly, of course not, this girl had work to do. Let’s be honest, healing is painful. Lol, I don’t know who said it was easy. Sometimes the healing process can take longer than we’d like it to, and at times, it can feel as if we’re going backwards instead of forward.

The journey to healing can be a wonderful thing, and one of the most beautiful things you could ever give yourself. I owed it to myself to heal, as you owe it to yourself to heal. Healing can come in the form of forgiveness, for self and the one who hurt you, healing can look like you trusting God, and praying a prayer of faith. Being able to release the pain you’ve held on to is worth a shot. The day I decided, I no longer wanted to hurt, was the day I left it all at the foot of the cross, because I knew that Jesus was bigger than my hurt, he was bigger than my pain, and he was bigger than the one who hurt me.

Because my soul opened, and I allowed the love of Jesus flood my heart I have been able to live, love and laugh again. And so can you!!! 😊